Say goodbye to “say hello to” – algorithms penalise popular new-car phrase
Once a near-default way to announce a new car on social media, tech bosses are saying turning their backs on “saying hello”
“Mawkish and lazy”, “kitsch personification” and “a trite soundbite” – these are just some of the responses to a recent post on social-media platforms that announced the launch of the Audi RS Q12 e-tron super-EV SUV-coupe by inviting readers to “Say hello” to it – and it seems automotive audiences aren’t the only ones who have grown tired of new cars being introduced as a baby would be to a maiden aunt.
In a rare show of agreement with users of their platforms, bosses across all major social-media and internet-search companies jointly announced their algorithms would downgrade posts featuring pictures of new cars accompanied by the phrase “say hello to”. Sources familiar with the matter indicated that opening an article or social-media post about a new car with the word “meet” would also see the piece penalised.
Speaking under condition of anonymity, one social-media firm’s chief dopamine officer told Right Hand Drive:
"Look, I’m a petrolhead, I get it: 80% of new cars are dull, if not simply derivatives of existing models, while launches are hardly exciting for people who work in the media as details of most new cars are issued under embargo days if not weeks ahead of official unveils.
“But while it's easy to take an approach similar to that shown by manufacturers churning out crossover over crossover on a skateboard architecture, designers and engineers face constraints linked to crash protection, economics and ergonomics when devising a car.
“Being literate puts you at a huge advantage over them, as the 26 letters on your keyboard give access to an infinite number of words. If you really don’t like any of the 600,000 entries in the Oxford English Dictionary, consider alternatives, mrgh! Sound out an exclamation that only exists phonetically, or coin a neologism – heck, if it was good enough for Lewis Carroll and James Joyce, it’s good enough for tetrahacks.
“Sure, there’s the risk that your media post will bomb or be laughed at, but you’re working in a creative industry – presumably you like words – if you want to improve your writing, well-judged risks are a must.
“At the end of the day cliches are a pain in the neck, and if something makes you feel like you’re nodding off when you write it, the effect on readers is going to be more pronounced – especially if the car you’re writing about is as exciting as carpet tile.
“Just try not to go too far the other way and veer into purple prose, talking about crepuscular cadences of sunlight on tarmac, or mists smattering nearby hills in a fog of excitement, when you write up a drive or record a voiceover – there’s enough of that about already.
“Consider this a warning: we were a hair’s breadth away from deboosting pieces that dropped the ‘the’ from car names”.
